Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Post-vacation reflections

Waking every day knowing that the time you have till your head once again hits the pillow is yours to command is a beautiful thing. It's unfortunate then that most of us live in an ugly reality which consists of a lack of almost all control, overwhelming depression, and utter despair. The only beauty, if we can find the time or heart to seek it out, lies in the aesthetics of objects and ideas which satellite around our internal realities.

My wife and I spent the last week away from our jobs celebrating the blessed anniversary of her birth. We experienced the beauty I mentioned in the above first line every morning. The beauty we realized inside ourselves seemed to harmonize with the beauty of those things which surrounded us. Breathing felt easier. Happiness seemed to approach us without being sought out or imagined. If we let ourselves spend time forgetting what awaited us after the break we could almost taste true freedom.

Thinking about this as I dropped my wife off at work this morning sent a javelin of sorrow through my heart, whose guard was still down from the joy of off-time. It was like I released my wife into the hands of slavers who would later come to take me. This got me thinking, though. What really separates the feeling of airy freedom from the shackled misery of a nine-to-five work schedule? Is it just the sale of time from our lives to a cold, inhuman company, or is it that we poorly manage the free time which surrounds our sold time, blinding ourselves to a freedom that could potentially be present every day?

Even as I write this I realize how much more time is required to truly give these questions proper thought. Back to reflecting and reasoning. The human brain chugs on. May freedom find us again soon regardless of what my reflections reveal.

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