Randomness for Hump Day

Sometimes I rant and spew words all over the place. Here are some tidbits from today. 

-When someone first becomes a hipster I imagine a person standing around in practical clothing being given a can of something like Acme Bohemian Hipster Paint (a gag prop like those in the old Merry Melodies cartoons), which naturally comes in different shades for each season. They then cartoonishly paint themselves up and down with this until they then look like a hipster. Ta-dah!  

Oddly enough this is how I explain god, babies, and the 1952 UFO flap over Washington DC. If you or anyone you know would like me to explain anything significant to your child I can be reached at 555-PAINT.

-If you're going to write a book on the real stories of the Men In Black then don't include commentary which asks your reader if something sounds spooky or not. You sound like a stupid narrator trying to rile up children listening to a fire-side tale. 

Seriously, the book I'm currently reading has caused so many eye rolls it's not even funny. Yes, it's about the phenomenon of the Men In Black, but that doesn't make it less significant or interesting. The author does a fine job of taking care of that.

-My wife makes iced coffee like a wizard casts spells. With skill and a quickness. 

According to D&D Next, though, she can now cast Magic Missile (a force missile doing 1d4+1 with an automatic hit within a range of 100ft) for free as many times in a day as she wishes...which equates to her ability to make bad coffee grounds taste good? I don't know. Either way it's a broken ability from some perspective.