I used to think that I could sing. The other night, though, I was told that I was tone deaf and that it's something which has been bothering others for a while.
These kinds of revelations can be shocking, sure, but when you have so few abilities in which you're confident, it's devastating to learn that you've been kidding yourself. It breaks a piece of you, in a way, and it's difficult to recover.
This might seem silly, but I only have a couple of things which I seem to be decent at doing. Those things aren't the focus of my life, and they don't define my daily existence. However, it's believing that I can do them which gives me a sort of comfort and hope in my abilities and this helps me to keep going. Now I'm unsure if I'm actually decent at any of them. Maybe I've been lying to myself this whole time, and my reality is based around lies of comfort in which I've been hiding.
It's a dark time, these days of pandemic. It's hardly the time to have one's foundations compromised, especially when existence seems so pointless already. But here I am, shaken, shattered to pieces.
I hope that there aren't too many others out there who are each, like me, being slowly consumed by some darkness produced within their own minds, but I know better. I've met others. Who knows how many of us will actually make it through this period.
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