Randomness for Hump Day

Sometimes I rant and spew words all over the place. Here are some tidbits from today. 

-When someone first becomes a hipster I imagine a person standing around in practical clothing being given a can of something like Acme Bohemian Hipster Paint (a gag prop like those in the old Merry Melodies cartoons), which naturally comes in different shades for each season. They then cartoonishly paint themselves up and down with this until they then look like a hipster. Ta-dah!  

Oddly enough this is how I explain god, babies, and the 1952 UFO flap over Washington DC. If you or anyone you know would like me to explain anything significant to your child I can be reached at 555-PAINT.

-If you're going to write a book on the real stories of the Men In Black then don't include commentary which asks your reader if something sounds spooky or not. You sound like a stupid narrator trying to rile up children listening to a fire-side tale. 

Seriously, the book I'm currently reading has caused so many eye rolls it's not even funny. Yes, it's about the phenomenon of the Men In Black, but that doesn't make it less significant or interesting. The author does a fine job of taking care of that.

-My wife makes iced coffee like a wizard casts spells. With skill and a quickness. 

According to D&D Next, though, she can now cast Magic Missile (a force missile doing 1d4+1 with an automatic hit within a range of 100ft) for free as many times in a day as she wishes...which equates to her ability to make bad coffee grounds taste good? I don't know. Either way it's a broken ability from some perspective.

Geek Culture...Now Belongs To EVERYONE?!

It's now becoming quite popular and unfortunately common for fad geeks/nerds/dorks/etc to start brutally insulting and discrediting geeks/nerds/dorks/etc who've had specific geeky interests long before geek became the new cool. Those of us who've been into something for years are now looked upon as entrenched, social misfits and roadblocks who apparently seek to do nothing but discourage people who now CONVENIENTLY find what we've enjoyed for ages to be cool. We're getting in the way of the people who build their lives around fitting in with majority and those who need society to direct their interests. Shame on us?

Really, this is nothing more than an unjust social eviction. What better way to justify a fad than to discredit those who've appreciated the subjects of the fad long before popular culture and its minions were able to fondle them? God dammit!

If you weren't watching Battlestar before it was remade, if you weren't watching Doctor Who before it was spiffed up, if you didn't play tabletop games and video games before WoW and other popular, modern video games made it cool to call yourself a "gamer," if you didn't read comics before the San Diego Comic Con became THE PLACE TO BE and the Big Bang Theory hit television, or if you didn't do a number of things considered geeky and shameful before they became worthy of t-shirt printings and MTV's attention then you might be a fad geek.

You might be a person who found something they didn't know existed and are now sold on it because you actually found it to be enjoyable. Good for you. I hope you continue to enjoy it and broaden your horizons. Continue to keep an open mind and you'll go far in life. If you obsess over it and follow its every development then...well, I think you're one of us...you know...geeks. If you're someone who's into the above or other geeky things because it's the media equivalent of this year's popular pair of designer pants then you can go fuck yourself.

I'm off now to sulk over my ineffective telescope. It may not be great but at least I know I didn't rush out to buy it because it was the "in-thing." I don't have to live with the knowledge that a great part of me is a culture-hungry hollow and that I'll do any shameful things to be considered "in." Those that suffer with that...well, you poor bastards.

A Technology Rant

While thinking about how much technology has affected the actual quality of life I realized that those of us who spend a great deal of our time online interacting with social networks and gaming or just interacting primarily with a variety of software applications throughout our day are far less interesting and far less substantial as people than those who existed decades before. It's not that the technology itself is evil and is solely responsible for corrupting its users. I'm not a Neo-Luddite. I'm quite confident that like in all things the problem begins with the users themselves, people in general.

Just like "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" one might say "Technology doesn't diminish people, people diminish themselves."

Sure, we can push a button and see shit happen fast. We can play a plethora of games on one of several platforms both mobile and home based. We can sit down and with a few hours whip up some artwork in something like GIMP or Photoshop. Big fucking deal. How many of those skills effectively translate to life beyond a device? Where is the real world application of skills acquired through excessive software use? Have button pushers found a way to make everything depend upon and exist around their superior skill set? Seems that way.

Photoshop paintings (and those of like programs) are the felt paintings of the modern age. One's Angry Bird skills will not gain them success in a practical field. One's Facebook meme-sharing will not define them as clever or witty or profound. Who actually uses the internet for something useful like research or to find ways to better one's community? Where is our cancer cure, or our faster than light space travel, or our colonies on other worlds, or the shrinking of poverty and the bettering of all societies?

I am just as guilty as many others. I'm also aware and willing to regain my substance and real world worth, if I don't still have any left. How about you? (these are my opinions...so, yeah...flame wars won't achieve anything)

Prometheus - A Review

It was a midnight showing where there were no lines and I could just walk right in, which I found to be refreshing. The beauty of buying in advance for a 3D IMAX event is that you are guaranteed a seat of your choice (mostly) and are spared the displeasure of having to compete with funk-smelling mouth-breathers for a spot that doesn't make the whole experience abysmal. Unfortunately, in 3D IMAX-land those people are still present, kicking up waves of salty body odor and obnoxiously chortling over the whatever it is they obnoxiously chortle about. I was lucky, though, this time around because I was able to avoid those folks and, to my surprise, find that my neighbor was of all things a beautiful girl. One who seemed to hate having her skirt touch her legs while she was sitting so she spent the entirety of the film pulling it back, further and further, towards her body. So, realizing this, I discovered from the very beginning that the night was going to not only be a test of my loyalty to science-fiction but also to my wife. I'm glad (?) to report that I failed neither. (take that skirt-hiking girl!)

Anyway, we were there at 12:01am sporting our spiffy and quite large 3D glasses as the Scott Free animation played. What followed was the film I have been anticipating for over a year and then some. In those first few minutes I realized that my wait was well worth it. I beheld glorious scenery, alien scenery, and then something mysterious and fascinating happened. Nope, I won't spoil it here. All I'll say is that it was pleasing to see what I saw instead of a dark, gritty return to the staple xenomorphs of the Alien franchise right out of the gate.

I'll state this now to make it clear, Prometheus takes place before Alien and in the same universe, but if you go in expecting the same creeptastic gorefest produced by the savagery of the creatures in Alien or any of its sequels then you're going to be a bit disappointed. This is a film about origins and the mystery of life. Mystery is a great word, I feel, to describe what you'll encounter throughout the film. There are many questions answered, if you pay attention, but I think it's fair to say that just as many are raised and left unanswered by the film's end. That's actually okay.

**some spoilers might follow**

The story follows humans who are typically hopeful and endlessly inquisitive, scientists. Doctors Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway have criss-crossed our planet in the years towards the end of the 21st Century, seeking out ancient ruins and tombs to verify a commonality. Each of the different sites from each of the various ancient human cultures contains a depiction of human beings worshipping giants which are gesturing towards a design showing six spheres (corrected from five after my second viewing of the film on 6-9-12). They find, through years of research, that these designs are a representation of a system too far away from Earth for ancient humans to see. Their conclusion, and a welcome one to corporate titan and architect of future Earth's splendour, Peter Weyland, is that the giants are our alien creators and their gesture towards the far distant system is actually an invitation. So begins a quest to find answers and to solve the problems some of the characters find inherent to their human condition.

The characters of the film, mostly the two main scientists, display much hope for the surely positive intentions of our non-human creators. We see what becomes of such hope and how belief can be affected by the sometimes harsh revelation of truth, spectacular truth in the case of this film. Prometheus, like most exceptional science-fiction, is a study of humanity, and our subject for this study is Dr. Shaw. She is the one who believes whole-heartedly that she's seeking out the caring "Engineers" who made us what we are for some special purpose. It is her reaction to the revelations throughout the film that you will focus on. She is our hope in something more.

Apart from the humans of Prometheus is David, an android. Over the years we've come to expect horrible things when it comes to the androids of the Alien franchise. I won't go so far as to tell you what to think or what to expect of David, but I will say that he is the avatar of the Company's true and cold intentions. Michael Fassbender performs wonderfully in this role, altering his speech patterns and the way he carries his body. He splendidly portrays both Weyland's tool and a cold critic of humans which he sees as inferior. David does seemed fascinated by the randomness and unpredictability of humans, though, especially in regard to Dr. Shaw. Their relationship is one of the most interesting in the film.

It's a film with beautiful design, excellent story, and interesting characters. It takes you from the early dreams of ancient humanity across the gulf of space and stars to a world where our creators might still exist. There is mystery and there are unanswered questions. There is horrific darkness and there is brilliant hope. If you see Prometheus you won't be sorry.

I give this, another Ridely Scott masterpiece, a five out of five.

Prometheus Report - Pre-Viewing

I grew up amongst film geeks who loved adventure, sci-fi, and fantasy on the big screen. Go figure, I was exposed to the Scott/O'Bannon Alien film pretty early on. Ever since then I've had a general curiosity about the universe behind the films and a feeling of responsibility to follow the franchise.

Tonight my wife and I are going to see Prometheus in 3D on an IMAX screen. We're going to honor my responsibility, to be entertained, and to acquire an awesome limited edition poster. I'm so excited for the entire experience that I created a silly meme. I've become one of those guys. Oh, noes!

I'll report back after the 12:01am showing to offer up my review of the long-awaited "prequel" to Alien. Check back then!

I'm a Fantasy-Phile and Forever Geek Boy

Here comes another confession from the geek who has shown no shame in knowing volumes of useless but exceptionally colorful knowledge. I'm writing on a high to tell my readers, any and all, that I love the Fantasy genre and feel that it is vital to the human spirit. Read on, won't you please?

I don't want to get all New Age-y or even touch on religious-like rants but I hope to here just quickly proclaim my love for the fair fiction which powerfully represents every facet of the magic of the dreaming human mind. Only in our dreams, I feel, are we truly beautiful. The conscious human mind is so whipped by the systems in which we are forced to wallow in order to survive that it can hardly be said to be anything but practical and perhaps as appealing as a series of interworking gears. It's the kinetics behind those gears, though, the hum and go of the whole thing that begins to hint at something greater. Fantasy comes from this and the layers deeper, and, I believe, it is what sustains the humanity of our human selves.

Whether it's an unrealistic story of a protagonist dealing with something that could never possibly happen or an epic quest meant for the most powerful of archetypes, I love all Fantasy. It can be said to be escapist, sure, I can understand that. It might be criticised as base and shallow. There's no justifying that, though. To fantasize in anyway taps into some level of a greater thing from which we daily function, though in a haze of some ignorance. To write, read, or create fantasy is to tool at the universe, at one's own existence, with the ancient, centuries-developed soul of our humanity. It's both beautiful, mystical, and, perhaps, even a little frightening. It's somewhat overwhelming to think of it in these terms.

Regardless, I love to dive into the worlds forged by others and absorb the beauty of their personal creator. I also love to stand at my own forge and craft a magic from my inner self, utilizing my energies as best I can. Dreaming, fantasizing, and hoping are all related and all so very precious, or should be, to each and every human being. Whether it be the emaciated victim of horrid economics and unfortunate circumstance dreaming dreams of accessible bread, comfort, and security, or the dreams of the best-positioned individual sitting in their tower fancying away, it's all amazing. The true tragedy is that there are those who don't treasure this ability. For them I am forever sorrowful.

However you feel, I hope you dream well. I will be delighting in my fancies, hoping the best for you and yours. Pick up a book and escape. Sit down and tune into your highest, most wild dreams. Come back and read some more of my rants. I've tapped into my human heart and I hope to share it with you for many years to come. Hopefully this was somewhat coherent and spoke to you, dear reader, on some level. Take care.

Rants - The Posts That Finally Killed My Personal Facebook Usage

I left Facebook. Seriously. I actually did it. Once and for all. I was tired of being hateful of the whole thing (though I still have a major beef with the internet at large) and finding my hypocrisy through continued use. Here are some rants that led to this closing of the Book of Face. Enjoy...

Rant 1 (about Facebook and it's features): 

If I were to describe the majority of the internet with a single adjective that adjective would be "mediocre." (and that's being kind)

Facebook seems to be the perfect stage for distilled internet mediocrity, and it forces it on its users in the most obnoxious and overwhelming of ways. The "Like" feature and the "Share" feature are bullshit, and the only purposes they serve are to highlight and proliferate mediocrity. The blue, the white, and the sad...Facebook.

Then there are the folks, like myself, who have used or are using this site to promote projects. If you are actually out to gain support for something and someone tells you, "Hell, shucks, howdy, puts it on the Facebook-er!" you punch that cock knocker in the face and you hit the street preaching your project's gospel. Prove your belief and confidence in your own work by doing more than playing clickety-clack with the data-churning glow box. If you really believe in something you're doing then you can't just set up a digital presence (bear in mind that Facebook presence isn't actual online presence...not really) and sit back as the "Likes" trickle in. If you're sitting in a dark room, hovering over your Facebook Page, thinking that more Likes means greater success then you're kidding yourself.

These are observations I've made and opinions I've developed over the many unfortunate and wasted days, weeks, months, and years online and on Facebook. It helped that I was a Facebook Page-creator who felt a dependence for Facebook and felt verified by my "presence" on it while trying to raise support for my projects. What a supreme waste of time. No one who just clicks "Like" or "Share" is really doing a god damned thing for you. If you want to know who's actually willing to support you then call up your friends, post physical fliers in places where your projects would attract the most attention and THEN see who comes to show support and offer aid.

Fuck you, Facebook. I pity the fools who jack in to this bloated whore of a socnet seeking validation and support. What a waste of time and creative energy.

*Rant concluded*

Rant 2 (about internet celebrity and it's shallow, hollow reality):

I liken celebrities who've made their home on the internet playing "Look at me, I've got witty things to share" to the awkward kids at the school dance who aren't in the main part of the floor doing that "Freakin' dancing" but who are in a dark corner away from it all and executing a unique series of body movements that make them noticeable to the beat-followers of the student body (internet users) who are reduced to lusting after any and all catchy physical rhythm. Then, when the school dance is over (not that web-zombies would abandon the brain that is the internet), they are back to being the awkward folks who sit in the background, commenting on what's going on in the rest of the school (world) and are barely noticed while doing so, except by their followers (the few and the...proud?).

Basically the internet is that obnoxious school dance and the celebrities who thrive off of it and find their celebrity through it are as inconsequential as band geek #12 who one night found that grandma's two-step looks interesting when executed during "The Thong Song."

RANT TRULY CONCLUDED...later, dear readers!